And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
