half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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