hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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