I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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