Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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