you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
