We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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