I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
