Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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