you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
