i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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