We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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