So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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