We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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