he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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