Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
