We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I supernannyed him into submission
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
