Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
