4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
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I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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