There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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