yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
