somebody snuck up and got me drunk
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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