Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
