he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
