your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
