I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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