My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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