her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
