I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
