Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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