yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I still have a little drunk in my system
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
