So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
