I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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