just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
its liver damage thursday
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
