I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
