Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
