I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
