DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
we should paint friendship bongs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
