theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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