Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize