So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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