this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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