I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize