omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
