I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
