i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
