I only kidnapped one of them. chill
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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