if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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