She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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