...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
