Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
where does the pee come out of this thing
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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