It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize