too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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