summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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