Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
