Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
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