how can u be prego again
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
