Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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