Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
