Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize