The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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