party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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