I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize