I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
