yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
