He told me they were just razor bumps!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Let's get the cat blown out
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
